Hello and a happy spring day to you all!  It’s been a while.  After a rough couple of years, I went into 2018 with the hopes of getting back to little ol’ optimistic me.  Or more accurately, tall, middle-aged, optimistic me.  With my small gang of girlfriends, we’d charge: 2018 is our year!  At about half way through this crap, I’m still waiting, riding out setback after setback with a Stuart Smalley start to each day:  I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it! People like me!  Whatever works.

This spring we had a lovely Mercury in Retrograde clusterfuck, if you believe in that sort of thing.  After experiencing some truly significant corporal and emotional losses, I was happy to see it pass.  Then, this weekend, I suffered the spectacular destruction of yet another one.  Going out in a blaze of glory!  Alas, in the immortal words of Erin Brockovich:

I’m really quite tired.

But I had some time in the car, driving across the desert, to think on things, change my mindset to “no fucks left to give.”  And then, I came home to this:

It lifted my mood.  The thought of weeding my Dandelion Farm would make anyone really quite tired, so let’s flip that script, shall we?

First off, dandelions are dandy little sunny faces, cheerful enough to elevate you if you let it. Second, the flowers serve as the first pollinators for your garden. Third, the greens are delicious cooked or in salads, and dumb folk at Whole Foods actually pay good money for them. Fourth, all parts of the dandelion serve as liver tonic, which gets me to today’s project.  What better way to enjoy a cocktail than by mixing your gin with a nice cleansing liver tonic?  Certainly, they must at least cancel each other out, no?  Dandelion wine has been made by man since the dawn of wine and dandelions, but I want my cocktail before the end of time, so I’m not going there.  I’m going to make a dandelion shrub.  What is a shrub, you might ask?  It is a sipping vinegar, with herbs, fruit, etc., some sugar, and some decent vinegar, melded over a few short weeks (instead of a few short years for wine) into a lovely concoction that can be served in a cocktail or mocktail, or a straight shot if you’re a badass.  I’ve done a few: cranberry orange, blackberry thyme, etc.  Today, I will try my hand at a dandelion shrub with a touch of Meyer lemon.

First, dear reader with a lawn of little yellow happy faces, you must pick the dandelions.  This is actually kind of zen.  I got my big bowl, sat down in a clump, and picked a circle around me.  You only want to pick the happiest faces, not ones that are closed or closing.  You simply pop the flower top off of the stem.  It makes a pleasing sound.   It was a good time to meditate, think kind thoughts, or plot the destruction of my enemies.  Poison shrub did cross my mind, though I opted instead to send drippingly (is that a word?) sarcastic e-mails with my yellow stained hands.. But I digress.  You certainly don’t have to pick 24 cups of flowers like I did.  4 cups will do.

Happiness in a gleaming bowl!  Here’s what your hands will look like…

I’ve washed mine three times now. Alas…  If you have some extra dandelions (um, WTF?), you can decorate the bunny with a crown of happy little flowers:

Now to make the shrub.  It’s pretty darn easy. I’m going to give props to this gal here for her recipe, but as usual, I’m going to muck it up my way:

Dandelion shrub inspiration.

4 cups of dandelion flowers

1 cup champagne vinegar

1 cup sugar

1 cup water

1 Meyer lemon

Remove all stems and leaves from your dandelion petals.  Some folks advocate to remove all traces of green.  I’m not going that far.  I will leave on the green base of the flower because I’m lazy, and I don’t think it will matter much. Place flowers in a large mason jar.  Zest the Meyer lemon into the jar, and squeeze the juice into the jar as well.

Dissolve the sugar in the vinegar and water, then pour it over the flower petals/lemon mix.  Store in a dark cool place for several weeks.  Strain, then store in the fridge.  To make a shrub soda, mix 1 part shrub syrup to 2 parts sparkling water over ice.  For a shrub cocktail, mix 1 part shrub syrup, 1 part gin or vodka, 1 part sparkling water or champagne, over ice.

This is not a picture of a shrub cocktail because “weeks.”  While I wait, I’ll sip on this martini.  Come on over in June and give the shrub a try!  Next up on the blog:  We all get what we deserve, and I deserve this plate of pasta carbonara! Cheers, Dix.